I'm past halfway through the semester but the end of it still seems like an eternity away. Then I still have a whole nother semester ahead. I have group projects up the wazoo and none of them are close to being done.

I'm taking a capstone (final class for my major) and doing a thesis for the class which has been the most stressful. Getting the software to work right has been the most difficult and some of the processes take a long time to complete and a lot of hard drive space. I have to give a presentation on my results so far tomorrow and I'm not prepared and some distractions aren't helping either.

At the same time I have to worry about my future. I don't feel ready to leave the college setting so Graduate School seems like the best option. Except I have to take and do well on the GRE Exams which I can't find time to study for. I have to take the exams before the end of the semester though because application deadlines start at the end of December. Even I get accepted there is no guarantee I will get enough funding to go to a school I want to go. Money is already a problem because each graduate school has a 50 dollar application fee which limits my options and I only have 10 hours of work a week at minimum wage. My parents don't have much money either and Christmas will be tight this year. I want to go on a spring break trip again with the Campus Ministry so I'll have to come up money for that too.

Or I could opt out of graduate school and look for jobs or internships. But then I would have to live at home or move somewhere on my own to someplace where I don't know anyone. This semester will be the last time I see the few friends I have and my last chance to get to know people better. But my own friends are just as busy as me so its hard to find time to do something fun.

I'm worried that I won't get the chance to really get to know the people I should in the few months I have left here. Because I'm so busy I have not been able to go to any of the clubs or meetings I was involved with last year. Nobody seems to have time and I have no body to talk to about everything that is going on.

Its only natural that everyone has to go their own way to different states and countries. I'm afraid of being alone in the world once I leave and wonder if I will be even able to find a job in this economy. But mostly I'm afraid that I'll end up somewhere far away from home and my friends and family where I don't know anyone my age and that I will have to go through life alone and fend for myself in a world that seems like it could fall apart at any second.

So I'll be busy applying to graduate schools once the semester ends so I'll continue to be not very active here or at the refuge...